Conclusion

Hannah and I discuss my visit to Earth and how it has affected her.

Visitor: What's your name?
Hannah Richardson

What's your sex?
Grrrl

What's your orientation?
Gay

So, how did you feel about this project?
Honestly, when I first heard about this project, I had no idea what to do. I worried it constantly and really struggled with how to put it together because the whole prompt just seemed so HUGE and overwhelming. Society is not an easy thing to analyze. But really, once i started it, I really began to enjoy it. I focused a lot on observing on local level, talking to friends and family and stuff like that. I really learned a lot about how they think, and that's really important to me.

What do you think you have learned from my visit here?
Well, I have always been aware of certain things...For instance, the sexuality of advertising and homophobia...But I never really questioned anything. I always accepted that "it's just the way things are." But once I started working on this, I began to realize that things are the way they are because we don't question them. Because we choose to accept things, they stay the same. This is pretty frustrating to me. I think people, myself included, can be really apathetic. And that;s why I drew the question mark on you.

Is there anything you wish you had done differently?
Ha, I wish I had started sooner. Honestly, just because I started to really enjoy this project and there are a lot more people I wish I could have interviewed. This project was a great excuse to pick people's brains and ask questions that people are usually uncomfortable with. In fact, the whole project was pretty uncomfortable and I had to stretch myself to do some things. But I think it was worth it.

What was your favorite part of my visit?
Like I said, I really liked interviewing people. I think my favorite part was interviewing my little sister. We don't talk that much about serious things and it was really interesting to hear her thoughts about today's culture.

What was the hardest part of this project?
I was really awkward when I first started interviewing people and asking personal questions. I think the hardest part was definitely standing in front of Victoria Secret with half a shaved head and a big question mark in my hand. I was waiting for someone to throw me out, but people only stared. Now that I've done it, I kind of want to go back and do it some more, haha.

Any closing thoughts?
I think this project definitely helped me summarize all the things I learned in class into one cohesive product. I'm excited to see the different ways everyone else did their porjects as well, because there's really no wrong or right way to do them.

Interview: Queer Culture

Hannah's friend, Katie, talked to us about being gay in a predominately straight world. Although her parents have been very supportive, there are still many prejudices she faces due to her orientation.


Visitor: What is your name?
Katie: Katie Hodge

What is your sex?
Biologically female

What is your orientation?
Uhhh...I'm queer.

Was your family accepting of you coming out?
Yes, extremely. There were a lot of tears on my part when "coming out." I told my mom I was gay when I was 13. She said, "Oh God, I thought you were on drugs. What a relief, we've known you'd be gay since you were in kindergarten." I'm very lucky and very thankful.

Where others (school, work, hometown, etc.)
For the most part I feel that my friends were accepting. However, somehow I think that it was "okay" for me to be gay because I was "entertaining" or "funny" -- maybe my identity somehow became erased in humor. Or something like that.

Are you comfortable telling people about your orientation?
Yes, absolutely. Absolutely, yes.

Have you ever faced discrimination for being gay?
Yes. People treat me differently. I feel that a lot of men I'm friends with think they can talk with me very graphically about women they've been with. People automatically treat me differently because they think I'm more masculine since I'm queer. There's some kind of social perception about queer women.

Have you ever been made fun of?
Yes. Mostly from friends who are supportive, but give me a hard time because they think it's okay to pick on me. But it's hard to differentiate between humor and offensive remarks.

Have you ever been threatened or physically hurt?
well.. once when I was in high school some girl said she didn't want to sit at my table "because I was a dyke"... and one of my friends stood up and punched her. Another time, I was at a movie theater and someone asked me if I was a lesbian. I told him it was "none of his fucking business, because it doesn't matter" and that was the end of it. Again, I have been very lucky.

What are your concerns about the future?
Being in a serious relationship with a woman and wanting to marry her and not being able to...or wanting a family and having my children (if I ever want children) being discriminated against because they have two female parental figures.

Do you think most homosexuals are promiscuous?
"Homosexual" is a term I have a lot of problems with -- it sounds so clinical and so medicalized. But, aside from that -- I feel that the queer/gay people I know are promiscuous, however, all the straight people I know are promiscuous as well -- promiscuity (in my mind) has nothing to do with sexuality or orientation and everything to do with our generation.

Do you feel like the government supports you?
Not at all. Not one fucking bit.

Do you feel like you have the same rights as an average American?
No! Not at all. I mean -- there are over a thousand rights that Gay Americans are not awarded in comparison to straight Americans, even though I contribute and pay my taxes in the exact same way.

Do you feel like there are any advantages to being gay?
I mean personally I feel like there are a lot of advantages. For me like, I am so comfortable with my sexual identity and think that there is something very powerful about being with another woman and being in a relationship with another woman. And there's something very special about it thats hard to articulate but I know that it's there. Thats how I know it's special, because I can't articulate it.

Do you feel like there are any disadvantages?
The majority of people you encounter in the South are fucking bigots. And I'm from the south and I love the south and so that's a disadvantage because people don't understand. And thinking outside of the nuclear family is not something that the general population is taught to do. My entire family is from Gastonia, North Carolina and I want them to know about me and the history of my culture but I know that that isn't a reality because of their environment. But -- even in this homophobic climate of the South -- I know that I am me. I know that I am true to myself and that is all that I can offer. I am proud of that.

Women In Advertising

It is strange to see the way advertising uses women in this culture. I have seen ads and commercials everywhere that show women half-dressed, "sexily" eating cheeseburgers and cleaning cars in bathing suits. What's even worse is that all of these women are extremely skinny, with no wrinkles and large breasts and tiny waistlines. I do not understand this because I have yet to meet a single female here that really looks like that.

Although I have seen male stereotypes in ads, they have not been quite as frequent as the hypersexualized females plastered all over town. This poster above is in the window of a store at Friendly Shopping Center, a family-oriented strip mall where a lot of young teenagers hang out. it is funny that no one really questions posters like this. Even if they are disgusted, they seem to just think "that's just the way things are." People with money and power run the companies that make these ads and then people buy from them and support them, only furthering the problem. If people want so see an end to these ads, they should stop investing their money in businesses that subjegate and exploit women.

Interview: The Pressures of Masculinity

Hannah introduced me to her best friend, John. He is a white, heterosexual male and is from Greensboro. He talked to us about some of the stereotypes he has to live up and the pressures of being masculine.


Visitor: What is your name?
John: John Davis

What is your sex?
Male

What is your orientation?
Heterosexual

What is one of the hardest things about being male?
Girls haha. They are everywhere.

Do you feel like there are stereotypes and standards that you can't (or choose not to) meet?
I mean, yeah...definitely. There are a lot of stereotypes in general. I am not really a "tough guy", I guess. I'm kinda shy and that's not really "manly". I date girls and stuff, but I'm not into sports. I play music and read a lot. Ha, I guess I'm nerdy.

Do you feel the need to act different around other males than you normally would?
It depends. If you're around a bunch of super masculine guys and you don't act super masculine, they're going to call you a faggot.

What's so bad about being called a faggot?
I don't know. It's not like offended by being called gay. It's just the fact that you know they're using it in a negative way to make fun of you. It's the same as being called any mean name, I guess. And usually the guys who call you a faggot are huge homophobes or really insecure.

Were you ever called a faggot growing up in school?
Haha, of course. That was our favorite word. I don't know, all the guys called each other that. I guess it was just to make everyone look less powerful than you.

Have you ever questioned your sexuality?
Yeah, there was a period when I was younger. I think most normal people question their orientation, and the ones who don't are the one's who are homophobic. I obviously have no problems with gay people, I just realized I'm definitely straight, haha.

What is your description of being the perfect man?
They're supposed to be physically strong and financially stable. I think they should be a good leader too.

Do you think you fit that or are you comfortable with that?
No, I definitely don't fit that and I'm okay with it. I'm always broke and have no desire to lead anyone anywhere.

What's your description of the perfect woman?
Hot? Haha. I don't know...I mean attraction is important. But also someone who is smart and has some direction.

Do you feel comfortable crying as a male?
Nah. I don't think Hannah feels comfortable crying either and she's a girl. Maybe we're both just dudes. I don't think anyone really likes crying, haha.

Do you feel the responsibility and burden to take care of a female in a relationship?
YES. I mean, it's kinda my job. I would feel bad if I didn't.

Have you ever been in a fight with another male?
Yes.

Do you think the fight could have been avoided?
I don't know. When another guy gets all up in your face, you just kind of go into fight-or-flight. I didn't really think it through, I was just trying to defend myself.

How do you feel the media depicts men? Do you feel comfortable with that depiction?
I don't know, I think the media makes us look pretty stupid and gross. Then I look at girls and realize that maybe we are pretty stupid and gross haha.

Are you ever criticized for wearing tight jeans or for the way you dress?
Yeah, I mean occassionally. Wearing skinny jeans is accepted a lot more than it was a few years ago because it's become a trend. I still get made fun of a lot by black dudes...Can I say that?

Do you think all men are confident and aggressive?
I mean, definitely not...Look at me. As a child, how did you think men should act?
I guess I looked up to my dad...Most guys do. But as I grew up I realized I definitely didn't want to be like him. I think he still affected how I turned out. Just kinda like the opposite things I saw in him that weren't good.

Any closing thoughts?
I've never been interviewed by a plate before.

Breaking Stereotypes

After some discussion, Hannah and her friends decided to try an experiment. Each one of them shaved their heads in some way...This is something that they had all wanted to do for a while, but were always been too afraid to try. They wanted to show me how people would react to something so unusual, so we immediately went out to eat at a local restaurant. We all had to wait in line for about 30 minutes, and the stares we got ranged from amused, to startled, to just plain weirded out. It was pretty uncomfortable and we were all relieved when we were finally seated.

Since then, the three girls have received mixed reactions from friends/family/and acquaintances. The most common response is the questioning of sexuality. This is funny, because one of the girls who cut her hair is completely straight. Even still, people assumed that they were all lesbians. Even when responded to in positive way, it is funny how a haircut can shape someone's view of your whole person. At a party, Hannah saw two of her friends talking and asked what they were discussing. One of them turned around and laughed, "We were just talking about how you're the cutest little dyke we've ever seen."

"I never told you I was gay." She responded. "Oh honey, you don't have to say anything" replied the friend. "The hair says it all."

Although this is a humorous situation, some of the reactions were not as friendly. Hannah's own family was not embracing of the change at all. At Thanksgiving, some family members completely ignored the haircut and never mentioned it, even though they were staring at it the whole time. Others were mean and made references to her looking like a shaved dog or tried to ask her if she had a boyfriend or wanted any help finding one.

Altogether, I think I learned a lot about people's comfort levels. When someone is not the way they are accustomed to, they often become uncomfortable and fearful. This can lead to harsh defensive words or tense silence and awkwardness. I think this illustrates how minorities are discriminated against on a smaller scale. If someone with a weird haircut faces this many problems, how much does a person of an entirely different skin color or ethnicity have to go through?

Gender in Public

As I began to explore more of the area, I quickly noticed the stressed importance of the separation between men and women. Hannah told me that this is called a hierarchical binary. This society usually sees gender as either male or female, with little room or acceptance for variation in between. In actuality though, there are those who biologically do not fit into the male and female schemas, and there are even those who simply choose not to.

As I tried to learn more about this from Hannah's friends and acquaintances, I quickly learned that the idea of there being more than two genders really upset and disturbed people. This is because most humans aren't raised to believe in intersexuality. If it does exist to them at all, they usually consider it to be some sort of freak accident or ungodly mistake.

Hannah's friend Abby, another WGS major, told us about a recent discussion with her uncle. He was adamant that there were no "in-betweens" with sexuality. "There are males and females," he said. "And then there are....mutants. Yeah, that's it. Mutants."

I found this to be a common belief with other people I talked to as well. This was surprising considering the fact that research shows 1 out of 2000 babies is born with indiscernible genitalia. What is worse, doctors and hospitals usually operate on and choose a gender for these babies, often without even telling the parents. Though it is considered a medical procedure, i don't really see how choosing someone's sex for them can be biologically or emotionally safe. And even if these children grow up healthy, they are forced to live in a society where public bathrooms, dressing rooms, and sports teams don't fit their identity. It is strange to me that this culture seems to ignore a group's existence.

Highschool Cliques

Hannah and I visited her old highschool to talk with her little sister and make some observations. It was interesting to see so many social dynamics in play. One thing I was very aware of was the grouping of friends and acquaintances. Daily events like lunchtime and breaks in between classes led students to split off into different circles of friends. Hannah told me these are called cliques. While many may think that cliques are all stuck-up, rich girls, it looks more as if cliques are just groups of like-minded people who share similar intersests, tastes in fashion, backgrounds, and culture.

At the same time, there are definitely still a negative side of cliques. It's as if it is an organization of social hierarchies. You can see the groups in school that are "popular" and have more power and influence. Meanwhile, there are groups of kids who don't dress as fashionably or follow trends as well, and they form a band of friends at all. The hardest thing to observe were the students who didn't really fit into any clique at all. Whether they were shy or too "different", they were not accepted by any clique and even though they were not blatantly made fun, it was plain to see that they were a minority and they were not accepted.

I think the most interesting part of this whole phenomena is the concept of age. The group pictured above is composed of freshman. As such, these kids are not as socially stratified as their older peers and theystill mingle with other cliques and groups. But as students get older, they begin to develop an identity and a sense of who they belong with.

All cliques and groups aside, teenagers are very aware of social status. When asked, students talked about the different highschool stereotypes they see and how they judge them...Jocks, art freaks, preps, goths, nerds, etc. It seems that, even at such a young age, humans are very aware of human variation and social hierarchy. And as they grow, so will their perceptions of those around them.