Hannah introduced me to her best friend, John. He is a white, heterosexual male and is from Greensboro. He talked to us about some of the stereotypes he has to live up and the pressures of being masculine.
Visitor: What is your name?
John: John Davis
What is your sex?
Male
What is your orientation?
Heterosexual
What is one of the hardest things about being male?
Girls haha. They are everywhere.
Do you feel like there are stereotypes and standards that you can't (or choose not to) meet?
I mean, yeah...definitely. There are a lot of stereotypes in general. I am not really a "tough guy", I guess. I'm kinda shy and that's not really "manly". I date girls and stuff, but I'm not into sports. I play music and read a lot. Ha, I guess I'm nerdy.
Do you feel the need to act different around other males than you normally would?
It depends. If you're around a bunch of super masculine guys and you don't act super masculine, they're going to call you a faggot.
What's so bad about being called a faggot?
I don't know. It's not like offended by being called gay. It's just the fact that you know they're using it in a negative way to make fun of you. It's the same as being called any mean name, I guess. And usually the guys who call you a faggot are huge homophobes or really insecure.
Were you ever called a faggot growing up in school?
Haha, of course. That was our favorite word. I don't know, all the guys called each other that. I guess it was just to make everyone look less powerful than you.
Have you ever questioned your sexuality?
Yeah, there was a period when I was younger. I think most normal people question their orientation, and the ones who don't are the one's who are homophobic. I obviously have no problems with gay people, I just realized I'm definitely straight, haha.
What is your description of being the perfect man?
They're supposed to be physically strong and financially stable. I think they should be a good leader too.
Do you think you fit that or are you comfortable with that?
No, I definitely don't fit that and I'm okay with it. I'm always broke and have no desire to lead anyone anywhere.
What's your description of the perfect woman?
Hot? Haha. I don't know...I mean attraction is important. But also someone who is smart and has some direction.
Do you feel comfortable crying as a male?
Nah. I don't think Hannah feels comfortable crying either and she's a girl. Maybe we're both just dudes. I don't think anyone really likes crying, haha.
Do you feel the responsibility and burden to take care of a female in a relationship?
YES. I mean, it's kinda my job. I would feel bad if I didn't.
Have you ever been in a fight with another male?
Yes.
Do you think the fight could have been avoided?
I don't know. When another guy gets all up in your face, you just kind of go into fight-or-flight. I didn't really think it through, I was just trying to defend myself.
How do you feel the media depicts men? Do you feel comfortable with that depiction?
I don't know, I think the media makes us look pretty stupid and gross. Then I look at girls and realize that maybe we are pretty stupid and gross haha.
Are you ever criticized for wearing tight jeans or for the way you dress?
Yeah, I mean occassionally. Wearing skinny jeans is accepted a lot more than it was a few years ago because it's become a trend. I still get made fun of a lot by black dudes...Can I say that?
Do you think all men are confident and aggressive?
I mean, definitely not...Look at me. As a child, how did you think men should act?
I guess I looked up to my dad...Most guys do. But as I grew up I realized I definitely didn't want to be like him. I think he still affected how I turned out. Just kinda like the opposite things I saw in him that weren't good.
Any closing thoughts?
I've never been interviewed by a plate before.
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